Escape

I had to escape tonight. Yes, I know, two blogs posts in one day.....thats a record. Anyway, the kids were driving me nuts. If they were all mine, they probably wouldnt be acting like they are. Of course I am not saying they are acting badly, but just differently than I would allow/disallow, you get the idea.

C I think is the one who is most demanding. She tends to tattle alot and when she tells me "so and so did this to me" I call the person in to discover that she did it first and so on. She likes to try to get others into trouble. Not only that but she is 8 years old and still talks baby talk. She also is a chronic thumb sucker but considering other factors in her young life, this is most likely a comfort thing for her.

B and B are fine. Usually. If I have any issues, its with B and T. T tends to get very territorial about his belongings and if B or B starts to "mess with" his things, T gets defensive.

I guess its that this evening I just wasnt feeling well. I wasnt feeling sick but I was feeling uncomfortable, could not find a comfy position to sit in and I was having a crampy feeling in my lower abdomen. Oh, and I was having BH contractions each time I stood up. I did manage to actually fall asleep in the chair but was awakened by an 8 year old's voice caked with whinyness asking "Ellarie, can I have.....?" GRRRR......Last night she was pouty because she didnt want to sleep in the baby's room where we have a daybed with a trundle underneath. This is where she and B were sleeping. I asked her why and she said she didnt like it down there. I said too bad, this is where you are sleeping and you will be fine. Then she is crying and wanting her mom. Clearly this is because she isnt getting her way. I crawl into bed and am almost asleep when she asks me for some Tylenol for her headache. I told her that her headache was most likely from her crying and to close her eyes and rest and it will go away. Thats when she waits 10 minutes and right when I am drifting off she tells me that she has had her headache since the last time she got out of the pool. Interesting considering that the last time she was in the pool was about 5 hours prior to her going to bed! I told her if she really had a headache then she would have come to me about it sooner. Now go to sleep.

So this evening, I just needed to get out of the house. I really need time with Michael so I went to McDonalds where I am currently sitting in the crew room on my laptop. Its nice I can be online considering McDonalds does offer WiFi but you have to pay for it. I received a postcard from our ISP letting us know that as Qwest DSL customers, we now have free access to Qwest hotspot locations. Michael's store just happens to be one of them. Its currently 11:20 pm right now and Michael is off work at 1:00. I think I will stay here till he leaves. That way I will be tired enough and may actually get some sleep.

So sorry this has been longer than planned but I will sign off for now and try to get some pictures posted later.

Good night!

Why is it always me???

I have been feeling neglected lately. I try not to let it bother me but it does. Aside from the physical aches and pains and stuff that comes with pregnancy, I am feeling very emotional. There is a ton of stuff I need to get done to prepare for the baby not to mention in cleaning the house.

I have really been needing Michael, but he isnt noticing. Its like this: I work 5 days a week from 7-4. Most days, Trent is dropped off by his mom and picked up between 3 and 4. No prob there. Michael will have say a Wednesday off work. Trent will stay overnight on Tuesday night and get the entire day with his dad. I come home on Wednesday thinking that I will have an evening with Michael but nope, Trent stays that night too and my evening is spent online or entertaining myself somehow because Michael is usally watching a movie with Trent or playing a video game with him. Out of those 5 weekdays, at least 3 of them Trent stays the night. Friday nights are always with us and he stays the entire weekend. So if Michael has a weekday off, Trent is here and if Michael has a weekend day, usually Sunday, off, Trent is here anyway so Michaels time is devoted to Trent.

A week ago, I spent my evening doing baby laundry and I had it all hung up on hangers. My back had started to have sharp pains and I was limping. I think I may have slept wrong or something. Well I asked Michael if he could take the basket downstairs for me. He said sure and he picked up the basket and put it on the chair. I waited. And waited. And waited. Yesterday I took the basket downstairs myself.

Last weekend, Michael told his ex that her daughter could stay the night with us because she wanted to go to a party. This weekend he said she could stay with us the whole weekend because her mom was going to Lake Powell with her boyfriend. Of course, this week was Country Jam so we are watching our neice and nephew for the weekend but we usually do since we dont go to Country Jam. Yesterday Michael worked from 4pm-2 am. Before he left for work, he spent time with the kids in the pool, taking them to the skate park and all that. Today he works from 3 pm-1 am. He took the kids to the skate park and chuck e cheese's.Tomorrow he works from 8am-6pm. I havent been feeling well all week. I feel big and uncomfortable. But I have to watch the kids which under normal circumstances wouldnt have bothered me at all. But I really need Michael right now and he doesnt seem to notice that I really need some quality time with him. Here we are expecting our first baby together and I cant even get him to practice the Bradley relaxation techniques with me because God forbid he lose that time with Trent.

I remember several OB appointments ago, Michael had the day off and I had told him several times what time our appointment was and he said he would be there. I had to go straight to the appointment from class. When I got there, he wasnt there. I called him but there was no answer. I finally got a call back when I was in the exam room and Michael told me that he had called his ex to see if Trent could stay the night and she said yes but he had to go and get him. Michael blew off our OB appointment to go get Trent. I was in tears quite awhile that evening.

Michael cant find the time to take me to a movie, but he takes Trent when I am at work.

I have been so frustrated about this and stuff that I posted a post on a forum website where I am a member.

I never expected to get a butt chewing on there. I simply posted how I felt hoping I would get support from other moms or moms to be but one of the reply-ers chewed me out saying "pregnant or not it wasnt all about me" Since when was it a crime to want some time with my husband? I shouldnt have to ask for quality time with him. For the past 6 months, I have had to ask him for quality time. And I can count on 1 hand how much time I have gotten. It would take more than hands and feet of several people to count the time he has spent with Trent.

I know I am horrible for this, but I am finding myself not wanting Trent to see me at the hospital just so I can have those few precious "new parent" moments with just me and Michael. He already takes the quality time so why cant I have this time with my new baby and my husband?? Why me??

The End is Near

And no, I dont mean the end of the world. Today, I am 36 weeks pregnant and eager for my baby boy to make his appearance. Each night I go to bed, I just lay there wondering what he looks like, who's personality he is going to have the most traits of. I certainly hope he is musically tallented. I can sing but Michael sure can't. So much is going on right now that I can't seem to keep any of it straight.

I had my doctor appointment last Tuesday and I had the GBS test done. Please pray that I am not GBS +. I really want to have a natural birth and if the test is positive, I will have to have 6-7 hours of IV antibiotics which means that I wont be able to labor naturally like I wish to. My doctor also told me that if Noah decides to come early that there will be no danger. I will have myself a healthy boy! And speaking of coming early, Dr. H. told me that Noah could decide to arrive at anytime, but he didnt think it would be before two weeks. So I am full term and am officially on baby watch! Not only that but my weekly appointments start next Wednesday. I can also start to try any natural labor induction technique I want too but I think I will wait at least two more weeks for that! I am thinking massage and accupressure. Maybe get a pedicure too.

I still have so much I need to do just to get ready. Can you believe I dont have a diaper bag yet? I kinda do, but I am talking about the one I want. Its the perfect size and its fabric. Its washable and it can be used as a regular bag once baby no longer needs a diaper bag. But its 100.00 because its Vera Bradley. I am still saving for that one but if I cant get it till after baby is born then I will wait.

The nursery is coming along quite nicely. The walls are painted a really pretty green and I have most of the baby clothes in the drawers and some hung up in the closet. I still need to pick out a picture outfit and a take home outfit. I keep telling myself that the take home outfit doesnt need to be anything fancy. I guess if I am only going 3 blocks down the street but in reality, maybe I cant talk Michael into going to McDonalds for something to eat and then we can show off Noah. Only thing is that I dont know how I will be feeling then so I guess I shouldnt plan until I know more.

Anyway, I am off for now. Gotta start getting packing lists going and checking off what I have and then make a shopping list for the remaining.