Jumping in with both feet!

So I contacted by director today and told her my situation and she agreed with me that this is the perfect time to jump start my business. If you are out there and reading this, please go to the Mary Kay website and if there is anything you would like, just shoot me an email. Since this is a business all purchases must be paid for before product is received.

Still a little nervous but my goal is to do a Power Start! I am going to do 30 faces in 30 days! WooHoo! Yay me!

Its been how long....

Since I posted??? Sheesh! I really gotta keep up with this blog!
Ok I will try to summarize.....
Noah is getting really big. He weighs a little over 14 lbs and today he is 12 weeks old! I love my little man! His doctor wanted me to put him on a baby diet and I did...for a day and a half! I am sorry but I am NOT going to starve my child! The poor baby was so hungry he wouldnt stop crying! I finally said forget the darn diet and I fed my baby! Then he was able to nap. I have kept it up and Noah is fine. He is not eating too much. Believe me, if he doesnt want to eat, he wont take the bottle. He loves to smile and interact as well.

Sometimes I lay him on the couch and then hold his hands and talk to him and he just smiles and laughs at me. He absolutely LOVES his big brother! Trent loves him too. He loves to hold him and talk to him and he even will give him his bottle. I finally got him to change a diaper the other day. Even if he never does it again, at least I know that he knows how!

Ok on to current events...as alot of you all know, I contacted my boss as she and I previously discussed, to let her know I had a dr appt that week and that my doc would most likely be giving me the ok to start work again. To my total shock, she tells me that I was terminated not on leave of absence and tells me that she cant rehire me due to budget issues. Talk about jaw dropping!
I havent been able to find another job. Michael doesnt really want me to work. He feels I am best caring for our son and supervising Trent's schooling which is fine with me. I just feel so bad that I dont have an income to help with the bills. It breaks my heart really. I am not sure why since being a stay at home housewife and mother has been my dream. Is it because I have always had a job that I am feeling so bad about it.
I keep praying that the Lord will provide a job for me. So far I havent found anything. I have also prayed that the Lord will supplement the extra money we need to cover what income I lost. I got to thinking about it from an email that I received which was a question on "How do you display your product" and I was reminded that I have a Mary Kay business sitting here on my shelf collecting dust. I got to thinking about it and I decided to look at my director's website to see what kind of information she had on why women sign up with the company. The majority see it as a way to make extra money. I looked at what I need extra a month right now and it hit me! Most consultants make approximately $300 at a skin care class. One class a week would be a total of $600 a month! Go a step further....2 classes a week: $1200 a month! WOW!!!
Now, I dont have alot of business cards and no funds to order some so I will have to improvise. I found a business card that I may just be able to scan and print some out. No they wont look as good but at least they will be something to use. Wont need that many. I dont have a kit to use. I do have a cleanser and a moisturizer so I can use that. I can also use my own product to show but not necessarily demo.
I know it will be hard but at least it will work for the time being.
I was also thinking as well.....maybe my lack of having the full kit is what has been hindering me. Mary Kay always said that you cant sell from an empty wagon but the same goes for showing what you have. You cant show the product if you dont have any to show. But I do have this and I AM going to make it work!

Just pray for me!

How Time Flies!!!

I still cant believe I am a mommy. I love every minute of it. Yes even the crying times when Noah just doesnt want to sleep. Thankfully he doesnt have to cry to let me know he is hungry. He usually just starts sucking on his fingers like they were the last meal on earth. When his Aunt Rebekah holds him when he is hungry, he tries to eat her shirt or neck or whatever. When I take him from her, his mouth immediately opens. Hmm...think he is trying to tell me something?

This morning was really cute. I got Noah up and dressed and when I went upstairs, I saw Trent just sitting on the couch so I decided to take advantage of the situation and handed Noah to him. Then I got the bottle of breastmilk I had pumped earlier and showed Trent how to feed Noah. It was so cute!

Saturday, Noah will be 2 weeks old! He is just as adorable as ever and he is staying awake more now. I cant wait till he starts to smile. This Monday I have an appointment with Sears to have his newborn pics done although it looks more like it will be his two week old pics. Of course I have plenty of pics that were taken when he was just minutes old so I think those will do well for newborn pics! Now if I could just learn how to use my scrapbooking software and roxio software to edit pics and print out some really good ones! Gotta send out some wallets ya know!

Today? Really?

So picking up where I left off on Friday afternoon after my doctor appointment, I called Michael and let him know we were dilated even more and to be on standby to go to the hospital. He said ok. It really sucked that he had to close the store which means I would be lucky to see him before 2 am. I still didn’t feel right but lucky for me the pains went away. Ok they didn’t go away totally but every 20 minutes was still a bit more comfortable than every 6. I didn’t go to L and D as instructed because the pains had fizzled but they fizzled to farther apart, not away. I decided to call the L and D unit and they told me that I could come in but they would most likely check me and send me home since the pains weren’t that consistent. The gal there also told me to take advantage of that fact and rest. She said it was no fun to labor all night long so she recommended I go to bed. Good idea. I laid down about 9:30 and I just couldn’t sleep so I started reading my book again and just relaxed. I fell asleep about 10:34 which ironically was when I had a contraction. I think that’s why I can remember it was 10:34. At 11:49, I was awakened by a strong abdominal cramp which really made me grit my teeth. It was over in less than 2 seconds but quite painful. I sat up feeling like I had to go to the bathroom and it was as good a time as any to pee so why not. I sat up and I felt a small trickle of liquid. I could have sworn I peed myself. I stood up and felt another little trickle. I went upstairs and sure enough, I had to go to the bathroom which was good since I had not been able to go for the past four days. It was a relief! I had more trickles and it was after I left the bathroom that I realized that I didn’t have the “tingle” that alerts you when you have to pee. I asked my sister about it and she told me that it sounded like my water had broken. I called L and D again and the nurse there told me that it most likely wasn’t my water breaking because when that happens it is a gush or a steady trickle and not a start then stop then start again trickle. She did say that I could come in to be checked and they could test for amniotic fluid but she said that many things could cause the amniotic fluid test to come back positive. If that is the case, then why use the test? I mean really. She then told me to keep track of any contractions I may have and see if they get closer together or more intense and if they get worse or pick up then to come on it. That sounded reasonable so I called Michael again to tell him about the possible water breaking incident and he said to keep him posted. I decided to go back to bed and I started having more back pains once I laid down. I read my book for awhile and breathed through each contraction. Then I decided to time the pains. By this time it was well after midnight. I went upstairs and paced my living room and kitchen. The pains didn’t go away. I called Michael to see if he was on his way home. He said he was and he arrived a few minutes later. It was about 1:30 by this time. I decided to go ahead and make my RRL brew to see if it would really work and it would give me something to do. Michael decided to go ahead and sit down on the couch to catch a few winks in case we needed to head to the hospital. My tea needed to brew for 30 minutes and in the time it took for my tea to brew, my contractions went from being a steady every 14 minutes to every 10, then 5, then 4. It was at this time (2:00) that I realized heading to the hospital would be a really good idea. I told Michael that I still needed a few things for the hospital bag and he said ok. I began gathering the last minute things and told Michael that it was time to go. I look over at him and he was asleep!!! Hmm….I raised my voice at him and kind of yelled his name. He shot straight up and asked “What?” I said it was time to go so he got the hospital bag and loaded it up. I told Rebekah where we were going. She said she would be there soon. Good thing I decided to show her which entrance to the hospital she would need to take and let her know which floor that L and D was on! Michael and I left for the hospital at 2:28 and arrived at the hospital at 2:30. Thank goodness its just down the street! Michael dropped me off at the entrance while he parked the car. I had called L and D and let them know I was on my way so they were prepared. Sure enough, they were. I was rushed into the labor and delivery room and told to put on a gown. By the time Michael got there, the contractions were still steady at every 4-5 minutes and I was dilated at 5 cm. They also tested the pad I had put on earlier as I was spotting a bit after my internal exam and was using pads. It tested positive for amniotic fluid so they decided to keep me and alert my OB. I guess it must be my night! It turned out that my OB just happened to be the doctor on call that night. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway since he would have been delivering the baby but to have him be the on call doc was reassuring.My sister arrived at 3 am and Michael’s sister arrived shortly after that. They were going to be there in the delivery room with us. I tried to get comfy on the hospital bed but the only position that I could find was to sit cross legged on the bed. When a contraction would come, I would make my hands into fists and slightly raise myself off the bed and breathe deeply through the abdomen.First thing the nurse did was hook me up to the monitors so they could keep an eye on the baby and my contractions. Noah DID NOT like those monitors at all and each time they put them on me, the contractions would ease up but when they took the monitor off me, the contractions would pick back up again. It was around 5:30 that the nurse checked me for dilation again to see if I had made any progress. The contractions, which were back labor I might add, were still 4 minutes apart. Lucky for me, I had dilated to 7 cm and I was at 100% effaced and at zero station. I didn’t know this before now, but station referred to the baby’s position in the pelvis. Zero is right in the middle and when it goes into the pluses, +1,+2 etc, it means the baby is closer to the birth canal which means baby is getting ready to be born. At 6:00, the new nurse came in to introduce herself. Her name was Susan and boy was she a gem. She wasted no time in making sure I was as comfortable as could be. She gave me to washcloths that she had rolled up and explained to me that squeezing my hands would release endorphins which are the body’s natural pain reliever. She instructed me to grip the rolled cloths as tight as I could during a contraction instead of using the fist and lift method that I had been using. Surprisingly, this new method worked! By this time, the contractions were really getting intense and the best way I could handle them was by breathing through my teeth. It sounded like I was saying SHHHHH as deeply as I could. I guess the noise helped me concentrate on getting through the contraction. Michael was being a great help as well. He would just rub my knee and tell me I was doing a great job. Then he would tell me that we were one contraction closer to our baby. How right he was. About 7:58 or so, Susan told me that I should try to go empty my bladder. I had been periodically sipping orange juice and munching on ice chips and it had been awhile but I was still rather uncomfortable and didn’t want to move. She told me to try to go anyway and that would give her the opportunity to get some stuff ready at the foot of my bed. The CNA had already gotten out the baby warmer bed and all the other instruments the doctor would need and she had put them on a tray table that was ready and waiting. I decided to go ahead and try to go a few minutes after Susan had encouraged me. I also had the slight urge to pee so that helped. I think I was reluctant to go as each time I sat down on the toilet, I would have a contraction that would be a little stronger than those I would have while sitting cross legged on the bed. This time was a little different. I sat down and started to pee and went what little bit there was to go with. That’s when it hit: the sudden urge that I had to poop. I had been having the need to go for the previous 4 days with no luck so I didn’t think anything of it. That is until now. I instinctively pushed. That’s when I felt more water that was not pee start to trickle. And I had to push again. After 2 more pushes with no bowel movement, that’s when I realized I HAD TO PUSH! I shouted for Michael to get the nurse; that I had to push NOW. That’s when the room came alive. I asked Michael to hurry and he said she was on her way and to come back to the bed. I shouted back that I couldn’t get off the toilet. Michelle came in the bathroom and had me put my arms over her shoulders. She lifted me off the toilet and helped me back to the bed only this time sitting cross legged was not comfortable. Susan came in then and checked me and announced that I was fully dilated and ready to push! Doctor Hardin came in then and got what he needed to ready. Susan took my left leg while Michael took my right leg and they helped me into the “sitting squat” position. Doctor Hardin told me to push whenever I felt a contraction. Michael reminded me to take two deep breaths at the start of the contraction, and with the third deep breathe, put my chin to my chest and hold my breath like I am getting ready to dive into a pool and then push as hard as I could. So I did. I didn’t think I was making any progress pushing so when the contraction ended, I took the opportunity to lean back and “relax” and calmly told those around me to “wake me when its over.” From what Michael told me, this sent everyone including my doctor into laughing. Another contraction started and I followed the same routine only this time, Michelle took over my left leg as the nurse had to take care of something and didn’t make it back to the bedside in time and I had to push again. Michelle was a great encouragement. She kept telling me how close I was and to push hard. At one point I was so out of breath I had to relax. Unfortunately, the baby’s head was halfway out when I stopped pushing which caused some bruising for him but hey, I had to breathe! The next push I pushed as hard as I could. I remember letting out some grunting/groaning sounds which more or less sounded like I was growling at someone. Whatever it sounded like it must have helped. The next thing I know, Dr. Hardin is placing the most beautiful baby on my chest. He was crying which for sure was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard! He was perfect! Noah David Blickenstaff made his entrance at 8:24 am on July 18^th 2009. He weighed 8 lbs, 8.7 oz and was 20 ½ inches long. He is so beautiful! My sister had set herself up as official photographer and got some amazing pictures! I wanted to hold Noah longer but I was told that I tore and had to have some stitches so I let Noah get cleaned up and weighed. He also had to get his vitamin K shot and ointment for his eyes. After I was stitched up (Dr said it was a minor tear, so please explain why I have 13 stitches), I got to cuddle Noah. Michael came close to tears which my sister got in a picture! It’s one of my favorites.

Overall, having Noah is one of the best experiences I have ever had in my entire life! I know people wondered how I was able to give birth without any meds or any IV or anything and honestly it was simple. My first approach was to not be afraid of it. I am more afraid of needles than I was about having a baby. I knew it would be painful and I sincerely believe that God allows women to deal with cramps every month to give them a tiny taste of what they will experience in labor. To me, that’s what it felt like. A bad period with cramps paired with some intense constipation. The other thing was to just breathe and welcome each contraction with the mindset of knowing that each one, no matter how painful, would bring me one contraction closer to holding my baby.I held fast to that and sure enough, Noah was here in just under six hours. Just having him in my arms is enough to say that I would gladly go through the whole experience again because he is so worth it!

Noah David

Getting a kiss for a job well done

Proud big brother.

Mommy and me

Cuddling with Mommy

What A Week!

Sooooooooo……where to start…..How about last Monday the 13^th? Ok. I got up on Monday and I felt fine. Went to work as usual. Did my half day then came home to relax. There was so much around the house that still needed to be cleaned but I was so pooped out from my 5 hours at work that I just didn’t have the energy.

Tuesday morning I woke up not feeling well. I felt sick to my stomach. For the first time since the first trimester, I had to get out one of my preggie pop drops to counteract the nausea. Needless to say, I didn’t go into work. I just didn’t feel well at all.

Wednesday morning I woke up with low abdominal pains paired with low back pain and at first they were pretty regular but then they spaced themselves out, then they became regular again and then fizzled down to nothing. Of course it was later that things got interesting.

Thursday morning began at 2am for me. I was awakened to a bell ringing in my room which I knew was this stray kitty that we kind of half adopted as we have been feeding her and even let her in the house. Thing is, she had been acting out on the other two cats. She would see them and then take off after them even if they were a whole other room away! Well my cat, Mittens, was on my bed when this kitty came in and I immediately txt my sister to come get her because I did NOT want a cat fight to take place on me! Well at 2:30, the little kitty got away from my sister and took off after Mittens who was innocently trying to get some food from their dish. Well sure enough, they took off downstairs and had a little cat fight at the foot of my bed! After that I just couldn’t get back to sleep. Around 8:30, my bedroom door burst open to admit Trent yelling at the top of his lungs “MS KITTY HAD A KITTEN!!!” Turns out that was why she was so temperamental. She was getting ready to have her babies. Ironically appropriate that she decided to have one of them under Michael’s truck and on his birthday. What a gift. It was today that I had no pains at all. Not so much as a cramp. I don’t get it! I don’t feel right both Tuesday and Wednesday and here I feel fine on Thursday and the cat has kittens! Unbelievable!

Friday morning I woke up to pee at 2 am and each time I crawled back into bed, I would have some low back pain. It wasn’t bad back pain but it was definitely uncomfortable. Of course, I just breathed through the pain and eventually drifted off to sleep. I woke up another time to pee and of course the same thing happened. I eventually kept willing myself to go to sleep and I was sooo tired! I woke up at 10:30 and I realized that I still had the low back pain. I got up and the pain still didn’t go away. I tried to sit on the couch and I could not get comfy at all. I eventually got down on the floor to lie down in the running position and I got out a book to read. It helped distract me from the pain. I decided to keep track of how often this back pain would peak. After timing them several times, it was obvious that the pains were coming every six minutes. My due date wasn’t until the 25^th and I figured that this was just something to keep me guessing. I also had a doctor at 3:20 so that would be a good time to let him know I was having contractions every six minutes. In the meantime, Rebekah and I went to Kohls and to Sonic and did some other errands and even walking around didn’t ease the contractions. They would average every six minutes to every ten. Made it to my doctor appointment and my doctor checked me to see if I had made any more progress. To my shock, he said I was dilated 4-5 centimeters. He didn’t say if I was effaced any more so I just figured I was still at 80% effacement like I was the previous week. I guess being 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced was pretty good for a first timer like myself and to be dilated even more was really good! I told him about the low back pain I had been having and how often and he did say that it could be labor and to go to labor and delivery at the hospital in a couple hours if the pains got any worse and in the meantime to just go about my day, run errands and see if the contractions fizzled out. Sure enough, they fizzled out to every 20 minutes. Figures.

Interesting Night

So I go to bed last night mentally wishing that Noah would decide today would be a nice day to arrive. As usual, I have to get up a few times a night to go to the bathroom. Normally I have no issues with this but this time, after I went, my back would start to hurt. I went back downstairs and when I crawled back into bed and plopped my head on my pillow, I was hit with strong period like cramps along with the back pain. I just closed my eyes and took deep breaths and "worked with" the pain. I soon woke up again to pee. Same thing happened again with the pains. This happened two more times and then Michael got up to go to work. I told him what had happened and he told me to stay home. After he left the room, I started having back pain again. It was almost a constant pain except it would get stronger, then die down but not go away, then get stronger again. Around 6:00, the back pain was still there only each time it got stronger, I would have a milder period like cramping. I finally decided to get up. The back pain lessened but didnt go away. Now I am sitting here on my couch and I am having BH contractions about every 5-7 minutes but there is back pain with each one. I am so debating on if I should call my doctor today. Please pray that Noah makes his appearance today!

Oh Come On Already!!!!!

So last Wednesday I had my weekly OB appiontment and I was shocked to find out that I was already 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced. Doctor said that Noah arriving withing the next 10 days would be highly possible but he said not to expect Noah to arrive for another month.

That would suck.

As for right now, 6 days later, I have had some days/afternoons/evenings/nights where I have Braxton Hicks contractions but it never increases to anything. Totally disappointing!

Of course, just my luck on another matter! I have a buddy group on another site where we can post messages and read replies etc. Well this group is for women who have July due dates. I had posted the update on my appointment and all the ladies were very excited that I made some good progress! I had a feeling something was going to happen and sure enough I was right.

Lets just say that we have welcomed 4 babies on our buddy group and may have one more baby arriving today! Funny thing is that this particular lady woke up with contractions and when she got to the hospital, she was 4 cm and 80% effaced. WHAT GIVES???? Hehehe....I knew that once I made progress it would motivate the others! Now if only Noah would give me more progress!

I did talk with my aunt the other day who told me that because my height and build are like my grandma's, I have a high chance to have a labor and delivery like hers. This is interesting because she didnt even have contractions or anything to let her know she was in labor until her water broke. Then she would have a baby within the next 30 minutes to an hour! I highly doubt that will happen for me but goodness, I sure do wish Noah would come soon!

Escape

I had to escape tonight. Yes, I know, two blogs posts in one day.....thats a record. Anyway, the kids were driving me nuts. If they were all mine, they probably wouldnt be acting like they are. Of course I am not saying they are acting badly, but just differently than I would allow/disallow, you get the idea.

C I think is the one who is most demanding. She tends to tattle alot and when she tells me "so and so did this to me" I call the person in to discover that she did it first and so on. She likes to try to get others into trouble. Not only that but she is 8 years old and still talks baby talk. She also is a chronic thumb sucker but considering other factors in her young life, this is most likely a comfort thing for her.

B and B are fine. Usually. If I have any issues, its with B and T. T tends to get very territorial about his belongings and if B or B starts to "mess with" his things, T gets defensive.

I guess its that this evening I just wasnt feeling well. I wasnt feeling sick but I was feeling uncomfortable, could not find a comfy position to sit in and I was having a crampy feeling in my lower abdomen. Oh, and I was having BH contractions each time I stood up. I did manage to actually fall asleep in the chair but was awakened by an 8 year old's voice caked with whinyness asking "Ellarie, can I have.....?" GRRRR......Last night she was pouty because she didnt want to sleep in the baby's room where we have a daybed with a trundle underneath. This is where she and B were sleeping. I asked her why and she said she didnt like it down there. I said too bad, this is where you are sleeping and you will be fine. Then she is crying and wanting her mom. Clearly this is because she isnt getting her way. I crawl into bed and am almost asleep when she asks me for some Tylenol for her headache. I told her that her headache was most likely from her crying and to close her eyes and rest and it will go away. Thats when she waits 10 minutes and right when I am drifting off she tells me that she has had her headache since the last time she got out of the pool. Interesting considering that the last time she was in the pool was about 5 hours prior to her going to bed! I told her if she really had a headache then she would have come to me about it sooner. Now go to sleep.

So this evening, I just needed to get out of the house. I really need time with Michael so I went to McDonalds where I am currently sitting in the crew room on my laptop. Its nice I can be online considering McDonalds does offer WiFi but you have to pay for it. I received a postcard from our ISP letting us know that as Qwest DSL customers, we now have free access to Qwest hotspot locations. Michael's store just happens to be one of them. Its currently 11:20 pm right now and Michael is off work at 1:00. I think I will stay here till he leaves. That way I will be tired enough and may actually get some sleep.

So sorry this has been longer than planned but I will sign off for now and try to get some pictures posted later.

Good night!

Why is it always me???

I have been feeling neglected lately. I try not to let it bother me but it does. Aside from the physical aches and pains and stuff that comes with pregnancy, I am feeling very emotional. There is a ton of stuff I need to get done to prepare for the baby not to mention in cleaning the house.

I have really been needing Michael, but he isnt noticing. Its like this: I work 5 days a week from 7-4. Most days, Trent is dropped off by his mom and picked up between 3 and 4. No prob there. Michael will have say a Wednesday off work. Trent will stay overnight on Tuesday night and get the entire day with his dad. I come home on Wednesday thinking that I will have an evening with Michael but nope, Trent stays that night too and my evening is spent online or entertaining myself somehow because Michael is usally watching a movie with Trent or playing a video game with him. Out of those 5 weekdays, at least 3 of them Trent stays the night. Friday nights are always with us and he stays the entire weekend. So if Michael has a weekday off, Trent is here and if Michael has a weekend day, usually Sunday, off, Trent is here anyway so Michaels time is devoted to Trent.

A week ago, I spent my evening doing baby laundry and I had it all hung up on hangers. My back had started to have sharp pains and I was limping. I think I may have slept wrong or something. Well I asked Michael if he could take the basket downstairs for me. He said sure and he picked up the basket and put it on the chair. I waited. And waited. And waited. Yesterday I took the basket downstairs myself.

Last weekend, Michael told his ex that her daughter could stay the night with us because she wanted to go to a party. This weekend he said she could stay with us the whole weekend because her mom was going to Lake Powell with her boyfriend. Of course, this week was Country Jam so we are watching our neice and nephew for the weekend but we usually do since we dont go to Country Jam. Yesterday Michael worked from 4pm-2 am. Before he left for work, he spent time with the kids in the pool, taking them to the skate park and all that. Today he works from 3 pm-1 am. He took the kids to the skate park and chuck e cheese's.Tomorrow he works from 8am-6pm. I havent been feeling well all week. I feel big and uncomfortable. But I have to watch the kids which under normal circumstances wouldnt have bothered me at all. But I really need Michael right now and he doesnt seem to notice that I really need some quality time with him. Here we are expecting our first baby together and I cant even get him to practice the Bradley relaxation techniques with me because God forbid he lose that time with Trent.

I remember several OB appointments ago, Michael had the day off and I had told him several times what time our appointment was and he said he would be there. I had to go straight to the appointment from class. When I got there, he wasnt there. I called him but there was no answer. I finally got a call back when I was in the exam room and Michael told me that he had called his ex to see if Trent could stay the night and she said yes but he had to go and get him. Michael blew off our OB appointment to go get Trent. I was in tears quite awhile that evening.

Michael cant find the time to take me to a movie, but he takes Trent when I am at work.

I have been so frustrated about this and stuff that I posted a post on a forum website where I am a member.

I never expected to get a butt chewing on there. I simply posted how I felt hoping I would get support from other moms or moms to be but one of the reply-ers chewed me out saying "pregnant or not it wasnt all about me" Since when was it a crime to want some time with my husband? I shouldnt have to ask for quality time with him. For the past 6 months, I have had to ask him for quality time. And I can count on 1 hand how much time I have gotten. It would take more than hands and feet of several people to count the time he has spent with Trent.

I know I am horrible for this, but I am finding myself not wanting Trent to see me at the hospital just so I can have those few precious "new parent" moments with just me and Michael. He already takes the quality time so why cant I have this time with my new baby and my husband?? Why me??

The End is Near

And no, I dont mean the end of the world. Today, I am 36 weeks pregnant and eager for my baby boy to make his appearance. Each night I go to bed, I just lay there wondering what he looks like, who's personality he is going to have the most traits of. I certainly hope he is musically tallented. I can sing but Michael sure can't. So much is going on right now that I can't seem to keep any of it straight.

I had my doctor appointment last Tuesday and I had the GBS test done. Please pray that I am not GBS +. I really want to have a natural birth and if the test is positive, I will have to have 6-7 hours of IV antibiotics which means that I wont be able to labor naturally like I wish to. My doctor also told me that if Noah decides to come early that there will be no danger. I will have myself a healthy boy! And speaking of coming early, Dr. H. told me that Noah could decide to arrive at anytime, but he didnt think it would be before two weeks. So I am full term and am officially on baby watch! Not only that but my weekly appointments start next Wednesday. I can also start to try any natural labor induction technique I want too but I think I will wait at least two more weeks for that! I am thinking massage and accupressure. Maybe get a pedicure too.

I still have so much I need to do just to get ready. Can you believe I dont have a diaper bag yet? I kinda do, but I am talking about the one I want. Its the perfect size and its fabric. Its washable and it can be used as a regular bag once baby no longer needs a diaper bag. But its 100.00 because its Vera Bradley. I am still saving for that one but if I cant get it till after baby is born then I will wait.

The nursery is coming along quite nicely. The walls are painted a really pretty green and I have most of the baby clothes in the drawers and some hung up in the closet. I still need to pick out a picture outfit and a take home outfit. I keep telling myself that the take home outfit doesnt need to be anything fancy. I guess if I am only going 3 blocks down the street but in reality, maybe I cant talk Michael into going to McDonalds for something to eat and then we can show off Noah. Only thing is that I dont know how I will be feeling then so I guess I shouldnt plan until I know more.

Anyway, I am off for now. Gotta start getting packing lists going and checking off what I have and then make a shopping list for the remaining.

Ok Lets try this again!

Now that I have a few minutes, notice I said a few, I will try to get a posting up for you but if the sentence suddenly breaks off with no warning, it means I simply fell asleep at my computer. 

Things have been really busy lately. The message boards that I like to visit and where I have made many friends have been down for a week and Michael keeps telling me that I am going through withdrawals. Thanks Michael. 

I have had an interesting past couple of months. I was sick 6 weeks out of 8 since January but lucky for me, it was only thru Jan and Feb and now that its a day away from being June, I have not been sick since. And I dont plan to be.

I am finally in the 3rd trimester and baby Noah is getting bigger which of course results in me getting bigger as well. Oh, and I have NO SWOLLEN ANKLES! Knock on wood.

I have been so tired since going back to work as I lost my job but got it back. That is an entirely different story which I will save for another blog.

In the meantime, I have felt a strong desire to get back into my Bible reading and have spent the last hour or so perusing sermons by Pastor Dave Most which you can find on www.sermonaudio.com. All sermons are free and all they ask is that you register your email for updates which can be helpful in finding just the right sermon for what your heart needs. My heart needed some encouragement today after something I saw.

I got online and went to a certain site. I saw a message that someone wrote about something and how it made them want to vomit. Then another person commented on the original statement that basically stated how you couldnt expect less and Christians are scary. I felt very hurt. Last year I opened my heart to the Lord and asked Him to give me a love for others that He would want me to have towards them. He answered that prayer and I started really having compassion for others.

I guess what hurt the most about what I read is that the original poster has very different views than I do and has openly slammed my views and my faith in front of me. Yet if I were to do the same thing, this person would be down my throat quicker than someone could say SLAM. I began to think about it and I knew that according to the Bible, I may be able to say hello or how are you to this person and show them the love God would want me to, but to have a friendship would be impossible because of our differences. I looked it up in my Bible and found a verse that really helped me make this decision. 

I Corinthians 2:14,15

"But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know [them], because they are spiritually discerned.

But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man."

This tells us that those out in the world who have not accepted Christ find it difficult to understand the faith of a Christian. They dont receive things of the Spirit of God. They find it foolishness or in other words, silly or lacking in sense. In reality, it makes perfect sense, but again, those without Christ will not be able to understand it. Verse 15 really opens the eye for us. It states the those who consider themselves spiritual are judgemental. I have seen this with the person who wrote those hurtful words.  Now first lets look at spirituality. What is it? Its an adverb that means pertaining to. It does not necessarily refer to religion but most of the time, people use the word in reference to their religion. For example, people who love animals are very spiritual when it comes to animal rights. In the case of this person, they are very spiritual when it comes to their religion and they have slammed my faith repeatedly in front of me. They have judged my faith but at the same time, they have the "right" to slam my faith, my marriage, and other things I hold dear to me, but if I were to try to open up the Bible and show them in God's Word what God Himself says about their views, I am discriminating against them. I am not allowed to "judge". This is a perfect example of "he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he himself is judged of no man."

All I can do is pray for this person. I can share my faith but it is clear that my sharing of it has been rejected. All I can do now is step back and pray for this person. Only God can work a miracle in this person's heart.

Now that I have given a bit of a devotional, I will say that all is well. I have a baby shower coming up which I am very excited about and even if some people dont come, I feel blessed knowing that someone considered me to be a friend in that they would host one for me.

I would like to write more but I think I will sign off for now and say good night because I am really ready to fall asleep at my computer.

ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz.........

Way behind

So it looks like I have gotten way behind on my blogging again. I will have to post a much needed update later. As for now, I have to get ready for work.

Benefits of a business

So a couple months ago, I ordered a CD set from the Learn MK cd education collection called Money Matters for Dream Achievers. This cd focuses on how to get out of debt and working your business so that your money and business finances are kept organized.
I started thinking about it and I thought that it would be a good idea to finally listen to the cds. Good thing I did! I have listened to them 3 times already and learn something new each time.
I am so glad I have this Mary Kay business. I need to start working it better since I have a baby on the way and I dont know when I will be working during the next semester or even if I will be working. I see how hard Michael works to provide for us and I want to help him the best I can. Why not work my Mary Kay business? I love to meet new people and why not share with them this wonderful opportunity? I know alot of people out there are concerned because of the so called economy crisis which really isnt a reality. I think someone just panicked and it spread. Similar to the gas prices going up to $5 a gal after 9/11.
But what other business offers free product, working at your own pace, free shipping even?
As a MK consultant, I have the flexibility to not only work the business around my family, but I have the flexibility to offer specials that you cant find in the department stores. I can give the customer the personal touch that she deserves. I am not out to just make a sale but to make sure that she gets that special treatment and if she really wants that Miracle Set but just doesnt have the funds to make the purchase, I can offer her the opportunity to share the product that she loves with friends and earn some or all of that product for free.
Now if you were to go to the SoSo Makeup counter at Fancy's Department store, they wouldnt give the option to earn free product or even share it.
Another benefit of this company that I just love is that they teach you how to apply color cosmetics. When I started with MK, I didnt know how to properly apply eye color much less blend it. I remember going to the SoSo makeup counter and got a free makeover. I looked great but I had not idea how to apply the stuff myself. I remember getting the free gift with purchase. I felt robbed later when I got home to discover that I had to spend about 29.50 to get the free gift with purchase and worse yet, an eyeshadow would cost about $21 or $22 dollars which means I would still have to spend another $7 to get the free gift. In this case, I would have had to spend another $25-$30 on ONE ITEM just to get that gift. so let me see....$29.50 + $25.00...I pretty much spent a little over $60.00 on TWO items just to get a tiny little makeup bag with 3 smaller than travel sized items. It had an eye color and a lip color and a sample of eye makeup remover. I tried to put the stuff on and after I looked like a rainbow racoon!!!!! I was so disappointed! But with Mary Kay, that same $60.00 could have gotten you a variety of products. Even more astonishing, that same $60.00 would get you a basic Timewise set AND have a few dollars left over! Plus you get a gift with purchase!! Wow! What a deal! Being able to get a high quality skin care set at such a reasonable price is truly unbeatable! Not only that but the personal touch that you get from your independent beauty consultant is not found anywhere else!
Ok so now that I have rambled on about my absolutely most favorite products in the world, I am urging you to go to my website at www.marykay.com/eblickenstaff and lose yourself in the deals, the colors, the excitement! Feel free to register on my site as well to sign up for the Beauty News newsletter!
Happy shopping!!!

Might as well.....

Ok well you have seen the pictures, you have seen the reactions. How would you like to see the ultrasound? I never get tired of seeing my baby boy on the screen. It is soooo incredibly cool!!! So I hope that it uploads ok. Enjoy!

Ultrasound Pics

So I realized that I havent put up the ultrasound pictures yet so I thought I would do that. The first one is a money shot. Unmistakable if you ask me. The next one is his little face looking up at you. The third is his foot with a big toe. The fourth is his spine, and the fifth is another money shot. Enjoy!! Notice the arrows pointing to the goods!

IT'S A BOY!!!!

Well I had my 20 wk ultrasound on Wednesday and I was thinking that the baby was going to be a girl, but I also knew that I only had a 50/50 chance of being right and it was ok if I was wrong. For the past few weeks, I have been wondering how I would feel if the baby was a boy. I told myself that any child is from God and I should be thrilled with each. Of course I still wanted a little girl. What I did was imagine my wonderful husband with a baby boy. I imagined that same baby boy as a toddler, holding a little plastic bat and trying to play ball with Daddy. It worked. I melted. I knew that giving Michael a son would be absolutely wonderful.
I am very thankful that I retrained myself that it was ok. Because I went in for the ultrasound and the first thing that transducer landed on was the money shot! This little boy was NOT being shy in the least. He was very active and was wiggling and even stretched his legs out for me. One of my best friends (notice I said one of meaning yes I have more than one) came with me and was recording the screen with the video camera. Thankfully, the office gave me permission to do that since they no longer record the ultrasounds.
I saw my precious little one put his hand up by his face and then perfom what my doctor called the fetal package check. I guess he wanted to make sure that "toy" wasnt going anywhere. It was so wonderful to see that he was healthy and growing and was measuring right on target.
I got about five ultrasound pictures and of course my video.
After the appointment, my friend, Breanna, and I went to Target to start a baby registry. It was the perfect time too. Earlier last week, I received a Target baby catalogue which had a coupon for a free $20 gift card just for starting a baby registry. SWEET! So I used that coupon to purchase just the right baby gift for Michael. AFter I found it and came home, I found a gift box and some white tissue paper. I wrapped up the gift and lined the box and then I taped a note to it saying that I hoped he wasnt too disappointed. I got a great reaction.
Enjoy!

Um...Can you say Irony????

I was reading something online today and came across a post about a Denver newspaper article about a bill or something that would make it mandatory for pregnant women to have the HIV test in order for the baby to get the proper care should the mother be HIV positive. One politician voted no and claimed that if the mother is HIV pos and the baby got it from her, then it would teach the woman to not be as promiscuous and others would follow the example. Or something like that. Now I agree that his opinion it totally bogus. Why punish the baby for the irrisponsibility of the mother??? Ok now lets look at this a different way.
A woman is very promiscuous and gets pg. Doesnt matter if she is tested or not. But she doesnt want the baby so she opts for abortion. Oh, excuse me, legalized murder. So if you compare the two, the man voting against the testing is basically stating that the woman made the mistake and letting the baby suffer is her punishment. What about killing an innocent baby because of the mothers mistake? What is the difference? There is none. Just like making testing mandatory (which is a simple bloodtest) can help save the life of an innocent baby, so can making abortion illegal! The baby should'nt have to be punished for the mother's irresponsibility! I rest my case. On another though, if HIV can lead to aids, wouldnt that be sealing the fate of a baby to die, possibly very young? Even in infancy? If that were to happen, the mother could be prosecuted for the death of her child. Notice I said could. Not would. Again, I rest my case.

Quick Minute Update

No I have not had my gender ultrasound yet. My doc likes to torture me by making me wait until I am 20 weeks. My gender ultrasound has been scheduled for March 11th at noon. I can hardly stand the wait.
Right at this second, I am typing up a short blog update while Baby is tapping away. Yes I can feel s/he moving now. Its a great feeling. I started feeling a tiny bit of movement here and there starting with week 16, but lately I have been able to tell that the movements are getting a bit stronger and more noticeable.
I have to be moving along to my next class now but I promise to write more tonight and try to post some pics so if I dont you can comment and remind me!

Overwhelmed

Ok so I want to cry. Michael is doing taxes and it doesnt like we will be getting much of a return. Thats not the issue, it isnt, but I am starting to feel really overwhelmed. I mean, I wont be taking any daytime classes once school starts in the fall, maybe I will take a couple night ones. But I want to be the one to raise my baby and I know I wont really be working either. I dont know how I will be able to pay the cell and internet bill. At this point, it looks like I will have to find a used baby carrier which is really not safe and go without a stroller and stuff. What else can I do? I know I wont be having a baby shower. Maybe the ladies at church will have one for me, but I am not holding my breath. Even if I did get one, not many would show up. Thats just how things work for me. I dont have anything ready for the baby at all. I havent even started in the baby room. I keep trying to get Michael to help me but he seems to think that we have plenty of time. Truth is, we dont. At this rate I am going to have to borrow a baby carrier just to bring the baby home in. I know I am being irrational, but I am just having one of those days. Pregnant women have them alot I guess but so far this has been my worst day.
Well I am off to bed for now and I am sure tomorrow will be better.

Sick! Ugh!

I am home sick today so I thought I would update you all with a post. Sorry if I bore you.
I developed a cough Wednesday night which worsened by thursday morning. I went to the wamnart pharmacy and talked to the pharmacist to see what I could take. She saidto call the dr and I told her that I had a sheet on meds I could take and that robitussin dm was on there. I also told her that I got the ok for plain ole sudafed. She said sudafed was a class C med and so was robitussin dm. Then she told me that if I couldnt handle the liquid to get Mucinex DM. Oh has it helped!!! I was coughing so bad there for awhile that i thought I was going to hack up a hairball! I was not doing well last night and I ended up calling work at 1 am because I could barely talk and I felt sooo horrible! I am on self mandated bed rest today and I am just taking it easy. i have been reading some kiddie books for my annotated bibliography and am going to start that. I have to have a minimum of 20 books on there. Lucky for me, alot of them are going to be picture books and stuff like that! At least I will be able to read through them quickly.

On another note, I am 16 weeks today! Hooray! I was getting concerned that I havent gotten any bigger but then I had to remind myself that many women on a first pregnancy dont even show till 20 wks and the baby is only about 5 inches long. I will get bigger eventually. I am also looking forward to the gender ultrasound which is going to be sometime the first week or two of March. I was hoping that the dr would do it before Feb 20 because that day I will be 18 weeks but he insists that its too early and their offices dont do gender ultrasounds before 20 weeks. Well shoot! I was looking forward to finding out for my birthday! When i do find out, I am most likely going to the appointment by myself which is fine, and then I am going to go get Michael a little baby outfit which is the correct color and then wrap it and have him open it. That way I can be ready with the camera and record his reaction! I know I really, really, want a girl, but the other night I was thinking about how I would feel if I am having a boy. I just pictured the ecstatic look on Trent's face and I pictured Michael holding a baby boy, and I just melted. I will be just as happy with a boy. That would also mean that Michael would get to potty train! Well that is provided we dont get the infant potty training down first. yes we plan to potty train from birth. It takes more discipline, but it can be done! Just imagine being able to count on one hand how many dirty diapers you have changed.

Ok well I am getting a little tired so I may lie down for a short while. I will post again later!

One week down... till mid May to go!

So the first week of school has come and gone and I made it. Lucky for me it was only a four day week. Now lets see if I can make it through the 5 day week. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are by far my hardest days. I work a six hour shift which is broken down into 2.5 hours in the morning and 3.5 hours in the afternoon. In between working, I have class. My math class doesn't meet on Wednesdays so that is an earlier day for me. I do get tired very easily, but I am attributing alot of that to the fact that I was not working for 5 weeks and now I am working again so I have to get used to it. I am glad that it is a form of exercise because walking is really good for you during pregnancy and believe me, I am walking ALOT!
Last Friday I hit the 14 weeks mark and I am getting excited. Things are going well and I have another appointment on February 10th. Remind me that I have to see about rescheduling that appointment so its not counted against me for having to leave my art class early. Apparently my professor doesnt make exceptions. Oh well. I am really going to enjoy that class. I am hoping that I can find something that I can turn into an art project for the baby's room. I will have to send a message to my online friend who is an artist so that I can order some more of her art. Its great for a baby's room!
Other than that, I am starting a new/old venture and this time around I feel more of a need to start out this time. The Lord is blessing me and Michael with a baby and I dont feel right about working. I need to take care of this baby, so Michael has a greed to support me in my endeavor to work my Mary Kay business. I have looked at it and found that just one class a week with at least 200.00 in sales will break even with what I am making now. I am only looking for enough to pay my cell phone bill and internet bill. I am still going to grow the business simply because in the next few years, I am going to have to pay off student loans and what better way to make the money I need and take care of my baby than to work my business which is a business that has been proven to work. I have met the women who have done it and all it takes is determination, hard work, and consistency. I am really looking forward to the new friendships that I can make as well. Speaking of working my business, remind me to order some new business cards. I am almost out of the pretty ones. I like to keep up to date with things and if something new comes out, I like to make sure I have the newest. I think this time I may just order the tent cards. Why? Because each time I pull out a card, it will remind me to have the person I am giving a card to, to fill it out for me. I have to remind myself that its up to me to call them, not expect them to call me. That is one of my fears that I need to get past and I will!

Ok well I am off here for now. Be sure to check out my website at www.marykay.com/eblickenstaff !!!!!

Dr. Appointment Update

I promised you an update after my doctor appointment so here is goes.

Things went great. The end. Ok, so I am just kidding!

Things went really well. This appointment had all the internal stuff (yuck!) but it was amusing watching Michael's fascination with certain parts of the examining table.

After the uncomfortable part, I was told to put a robe on over my top but no bottoms (EEK!) because the next part of this appointment was the ultrasound. By this point I really had butterflies in my stomach. They weren't fluttering lightly either. As we were getting ready to open the exam room door for the short walk down the hall, Michael, being quite the charmer, opens his mouth and "BBBEEELLLCCCHHH!!!!!" Lovely. Thankfully the nurses right outside the door didn't hear him.

We got to the ultrasound room and of course my doctor doesn't do abdominal ultrasounds till after 12 weeks and I was only 11 wks 6 days. Is now a good time to say that I am getting pretty comfortable with a male doctor?

My doctor soon comes in and Michael is texting on his phone and I am eagerly and anxiously waiting for the baby to come in view on the screen.

I nearly cried when I saw a perfectly formed head, body, arms, and legs. We saw the little arms and legs moving around and waving. It was the coolest thing! Doctor took measurments and Baby Blickenstaff is measuring ahead at 12 wks 1 day. I also got some great pictures of my little Cupcake!

Here she (yes I am biased! If I keep calling it a she, I will have a boy for sure!) is waving at us. If you look closely, it looks like she is sucking her thumb.

In this one, she just seems to be relaxing. I think she realized we were taking pictures.

This one is my favorite. She decided to show off a leg for us. This baby is going to have long legs. she will get that from both me and Daddy because we are both tall and have long legs. Now if you look closely at her foot, that is from me. My feet are longer than her Daddy's. Does this mean she wont fit into those cute newborn shoes and socks??

We won't be finding out the gender until early March when I reach 20 wks. Yes, you can find out earlier, but the doctor doesn't like to do gender ultrasounds earlier as 20 wks is when things are more pronounced and there is less chance for error.

I have been given the ok to go back to helping clean bathrooms at work which is great because just doing stairs and vacuuming was getting really old.

I am nervous about the upcoming semester because I dont know how tired I am going to be or how much of a school workload I have. I do know that I am happy to just stay home for the evening which means I should have plenty of time to get all my schoolwork done. My best friend is now in Denver so there is less chance for the both of us to get really bored and head off to Pizza Hut which is good. Yes I should be able to make it through just fine.

Overall, I know that God is taking care of both me and Baby and I have nothing to fear.

So I am off for now and my next post will most likely be after my first week back at school. Then I can tell you how the week went!

Happy New Year

Well the past couple of weeks seem to have flown by but in a sense they have kinda dragged for me. I promise soon I will have some pictures up here. In fact, I think I have one that I can post for you. I finally talked Michael into taking a belly pic. Its not that good but at least you will see my baby bump at 10 wks 6 days. I need to start doing a belly pic at each new week. I have a doc appt on the 8th. Once I get the ultrasound pic from that appointment, I will post it!



Christmas was really fun. I got Michael Guitar Hero World Tour and he absolutely loves it. He has played it almost everyday. Now I know it seems odd that I would get him that but I wanted to get something that would help with hand/eye coordination and this does that. I personally do not listen to rock music. It makes me depressed, gives me a headache, and its not God honoring. However, when he plays the game, I put on my headphones and crochet. Works out great. I sing along to my music too. Hehehe.



Michael got me a few things of which my favorite is a photo printer so I can print out pics and send to family. One of these days I will have to figure out how to size pics to wallet size and then arrange them on a 4x6 space, save it to my memory card, and then print them out. Viola! Four wallets in about 45 seconds!



Not really much to say. I have been really tired lately and battling morning sickness and I have not had much of an appetite. I have discovered that if I eat anything at all when I first get up in the morning, I am nauseated the rest of the day so I pretty much take my vitamin and drink milk or juice. Then when I finally do eat it is well after noon.



That is about all I have the energy for right now but I will update you more later. Most likely after my doctor appointment on the 8th. Enjoy the belly pic!