Being Creative

I have always wondered how they made the neat little videos where you put pictures to music. My sister seems to be the expert at stuff like this so I asked her how and she gave me directions via instant messenger. I saved them and then I decided to make one. I had it perfect and when I went to convert it to a wmv file, the pictures were over in half the song time, so I spent what seemed like hours over my little project trying to figure out how to make the pictures stay longer so that the music and pictures would end simultaneously. I still have some playing around to do with it but here is what I have so far. I hope you enjoy!

Summer Fun!

I dont know about you, but sometimes its just fun to get out and do something. After church this morning, Michael decided that it would be fun to go out four wheeling with his sister and her husband and two kids. We got in the truck and headed out to Battlement Mesa, CO where the sis in law lives. We had a blast! We didnt hit too much of a trail, and their jeep started having some issues which are fixable, but it was really alot of fun getting some pics of the gorgeous mountains out there! It really gives true meaning to the verse in Psalm 19:1," The heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament sheweth his handiwork." Here are some pics of the mountains. Enjoy!

Just some random views. Sorry if they look like I am looking upward because I was sitting in the truck while taking them and the truck was moving!

There are alot of Aspen trees up there!This was one huge dandelion puff!

This is what you get when holding the camera lense up to the sky! Didnt turn out too bad!

This was after coming down out of the Aspen tree area. The mountains are absolutely gordeous up here!

When is enough, enough?

I give up. Children are not in my future. Could I be any more inadequate? Where did it all start?


When I lost the baby, I felt so inadequate. Like I couldnt do anything right. Its been 9 months since I lost my angel and I still cant conceive a child. My body wont allow it. I feel like I cant do something right. I would have rather not been pregnant at all than to have all this pain. I feel as though people dont care. I cant have a baby, I cant carry a pregnancy
Michael and I have talked about adoption. He told me he had a friend from college stop by his store and he was able to chat for a minute. I guess the friend and his wife are in the process of adopting their second child. He told Michael about the process and of all the hoops you have to jump through. Michael told me later that even though adopting would be great, he doesnt want to have to go through all those hoops. He said it wouldnt be worth it. As to if it would be worth it, I think otherwise, but I cant handle all those hoops. It will be just another person telling me that I cant have a child and that I am not good enough.

Hello Again!

Hello all!! Its been awhile since I last posted. I have had two posts since then but on the one, the video uploader kept freezing and on the second one, my picture didnt want to post, so I will have to just go on from there.

Today, Michael's cousin flew in from Hawaii for her grandparents anniversary. We will be going to meet with her family on Sunday.

I am currently trying to put some music on blogger but I am not sure how and when I looked up a site that offers free music players for blogger, it said it decided to close its doors so I have no idea how to do it. Any suggestions on this one?

Last Monday, a little dog was hit by a car in front of my house. The poor little guy was fine. He was not hurt, just a little shaken up, so I took him in the house and later he went to the backyard. He was a pomeranian mix and sooo adorable. He was quite the energetic little fellow. I put an ad in the paper and had it broadcast on the radio but no luck finding the owner. A coworker loved him and decided to take him home with her. Hey I had no problems with that!

In a few weeks I will be going to North Carolina to visit my sister and I am so excited. It will be soo cool to see her again. She has my new violin and I cant wait to get into practice once again. Maybe this time I can learn vibrato!

Well I have to be off as I need to get to bed soon. I have to be up at 5:30 and I am hoping that I am not sick again tomorrow as I was today.

Prayer and Supplication

Well it has certainly been awhile since I was on here. There is not much to tell. I started a new job which I like. Its not the best job in the world, but it pays the bills. It has also been helping me establish a good sleep schedule. I have to be up at 5:30 and I go to bed at 10:00.
On another note, Michael and I started our second round of Clomid today. I am not thrilled. I never thought I would need to be on any kind of fertility drug. I dont understand it and I probably never will but what I am trying to learn is what God wants me to learn. I dont know what that is yet. I happen to be a member of a ladies forum and we were on a conversation thread on asking God for things. Is it selfish to ask God for a child or not? I did some searching, and what I found is in the book of Philipians chapter 4, verse 6:
Be careful for noghti; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shal keep your hears and minds through Christ Jesus.
This tells me that we CAN go to God with our requests. It also tells me in the beginning of verse 6 that we are not to worry: be careful-for what? for nothing! We are to not worry, but make our requests known to God. Continuing on in verse 8:
Finally, bretheren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatseever things are lovely, whatsoever things are aof good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Thos things, which ye have both learned, and received, andheard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.
I have often wondered why these verses come one right after another. We are to make are requests known to God in prayer and then we are told to concentrate on these things as long as they are honest, just, pure, lovely, true, and of good report. And at the end? Peace.
In Ephesians chapter 6 verse 18 we see prayer and supplication again:
Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints.
I looked up supplication in Easton's Illustrated dictonary and I found it to mean beseeching the Lord or pouring out the soul to God. Its not just a simple prayer. Its fervent! A quote from this dictionary says this about prayer:
prayer must also be offered in the faith that God is, and is the hearer and answerer of prayer, and that he will fulfil his word, " ask and ye shall receive" and in the name of Christ.
I hope that this helps to understand a little on how one must pray. I hope that I can start to pray more fervently and with more faith. I want a child so desperatly and like Hannah, I need to make my request known to God.

Contentment

I have often wondered about contentment. I know that true contentment comes from God himself but there are a few things that I find that make me feel quite content.

Last Sunday, I had the opportunity to go to a friend's baby shower. She had her son, Riley, two months early. She had gone to the hospital because she had a migraine but just felt different! While at the hospital, she was tested for preclampsia, high blood pressure and stuff like that but nothing showed up on the specific test. It was while she was there, that she suddenly had a seizure. The baby's heartbeat wasnt found and she was rushed to emergency C-section. She miracle is that both she and the baby made it just fine and are both doing well. Riley only weighed 4 pounds and was in the hospital a week. He is home now and doing just fine.

Tonight my friend Jen and I got to go see her and the kids and we had a blast. Belynnda allowed us to take pictures (oh yes I got tons!) and post them on here, so here are a few of them.

While I was holding him, I got a sense of contentment and I allowed myself to wonder, just for a moment, if this was what it felt like to hold your own.

As you can see, Riley is absolutely adorable! He is at 4 lb 7 oz now and his tiny feet are about an inch and a quarter long. I certainly cant wait till God blesses me and Michael with a little miracle of our own!

Spot got a bath!

Well this evening Spot (our furbaby kitty) got a bath. Or should I say that the bath was more of an attempt. I had the wonderful opportunity to get this one on video. Enjoy!